“Home is the place where your gifts are received.” 

For the last few years, again and again, I have had this thought pop up in my mind, “I want to go home.” It took me a while to realize that this longing for home was symbolic of a longing to feel “at home” with myself & others and not a need to physically move somewhere new. 

It’s funny that it took me so long to figure this out even though I connect with symbolic material regularly through connecting with my dreams. 

As I’ve unpacked the different meanings of what “home” feels like to me, I rediscovered this passage in Toko-pa Turner’s beautiful book Belonging: 

“I’ve heard it said that home is the place where your gifts are received. Indeed, for those who have never had their gifts acknowledged, a true sense of belonging is rarely felt. After all, how can you belong if you are but partially appreciated? If we are honest with ourselves, most of us will also admit that we are stingy with our gifts because we underestimate their worth.” 

There’s a lot to think about in these lines. 

And the idea that when our gifts go unacknowledged, we rarely feel a sense of belonging is especially resonant for highly sensitive people and sensitive creatives.   

We can often feel like the perpetual outsider, looking in. Some of our talents may be simply ignored. For example: We’re built for depth, not speed. This tendency is something that is definitely not valued everywhere. Some people might appreciate it. But just as easily, some may not. 

And we may feel like the black sheep, someone who is always on the fringes.

So, if we’re in environments where the core of us – our very essence – is not appreciated, it can feel very hard to belong. Yes, we can try to belong to ourselves. But we also need environments where we don’t droop like a plant that hasn’t gotten enough water. 

We need nourishing environments, connections and people. 

For me, I have found this slowly, in many different pieces in my life. It’s not all simple.

Some of it is like a patchwork quilt you create for yourself. 

But the more interactions I’ve had with people who do see my gifts, and the more I’ve been in environments in which I can use my gifts, the more I feel like myself. And the more I feel like I belong.

If you are a sensitive person who feels this lack of home, I hope you reach for whatever is in your grasp. We’re all creating our home, and sometimes building our very foundations as we go on. 

Maybe, it’s by giving importance to your interests that will help you find your home. Maybe, it’s through volunteering, so that you channel your need to give instead of giving it reactively to anyone who asks for it. Maybe, the channel is something else entirely. 

But whatever it is, thinking of ourselves like a plant that needs a nourishing environment is the way to both find our home in the outer world as well as create it inside our own selves.

Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey. Find more about Ritu HERE.

Looking for the The Highly Sensitive Creative newsletter? Sign up HERE.

Want to go to the blog to read more? Go HERE.