I wrote recently about getting more & more interested in the “inner child” topic. As I’ve been thinking about it, I realized how, in my night-time dreams, my inner child doesn’t actually often look like my child-self.
Sometimes, she shows up as a kitten locked up in a bathroom. Sometimes, as a puppy yapping at my heels. And from the time that I started birdwatching, I have had more dreams with birds in them.
Last summer, I had my first band of little bushtits show up at my birdfeeder. They were so tiny, I felt like I could cup them in the palm of my hand.
Shortly afterwards, I had a dream in which I was trying to catch a little bird to feed him some medicine. And I felt the same tenderness for this dream-bird as I had for the real-life bushtits.
I’ve been thinking about my inner child not as a regression, but as the “original me,” a potential that possibly wasn’t nourished enough.
As you may guess, there are times when I don’t take good care of her.
One shouldn’t lock a little kitten in a cramped bathroom, for example.
I know that I sometimes act like an authoritarian parent or a joy-less caretaker who doesn’t value what my spontaneous inner child values – imagination, play, exploring, and doing things for fun!
Some defensive, curdled part of me thinks we’ll be mocked for making mistakes or doing things imperfectly. In trying to protect me, this part cuts off what’s tender, what’s new, what’s growing.
After all, only living things are vulnerable.
But the kitten needs space to breathe. And the dog needs a place to jump. And the little bird needs care as well as medicine.
It’s only then that they can grow.
And it’s only then can they develop as parts of who I am.
Our psyche is constantly communicating images for the most precious, vulnerable parts of us. These may show up in the form of a pet we love, or as a defenseless baby who is just learning to walk.
These images are a bridge into a deeper relationship with potentials we may have abandoned.
I often connect with my inner child by paying attention to my night-time dreams.
But maybe, for you, your inner child shows up as when you “feel like” doing something spontaneous, while journaling, or when you are doing expressive art without caring about the end result. Or maybe, it’s when you are really longing for something!
However the inner child shows up, this precious part of us is calling attention to our true desires, our true feelings, our true reason for being.
Without this part, all the joy goes out of living. All the fun seeps out, the colors run, and the world feels devoid of any enchantment.
And with it, the fun comes back. So does play. And that sense of discovery that makes things new again.
Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey. Find more about Ritu HERE.
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