As sensitives who naturally pay attention to subtleties, being too open to outside voices can have a paralyzing effect on us.
Social media, while it can be really helpful sometimes, often gives us fragments of different people’s thought processes. And the news can flood us with information but give us little context.
In this cacophony of noises, it’s really important to articulate what we actually think & believe. So, when I heard this interview with Charlotte Burgess-Auburn about her book You Need a Manifesto, the idea of making a personal manifesto – a list of guiding principles – really appealed to me.
In my life, I find that when I do have guiding principles, it helps articulate what I think. For example, knowing that in the past, I have made big decisions at around 70% certainty helps making new decisions much easier.
Of course, culling out 10 or 12 overarching principles can feel overwhelming. Charlotte gives us some helpful pointers:
“Your manifesto is less a map to the future than a compass for the present.” We can feel paralyzed by the thought of trying to capture everything we believe. Or by trying to make this “perfect.” But a personal manifesto is “a living document.” You’re free to change it anytime. And it’s really about navigating the present, not mapping out the future.
You can use it to express & solidify what you already sense & feel OR it could be something you use in a more aspirational way. Say, for example, you’ve just started a podcast & you share it on social media. Soon after, you get a critical comment on something you’ve talked passionately about.
If part of your manifesto is the Elizabeth Gilbert quote: “To be criticized is a tax that you pay for having a public voice,” it will serve as a reminder to not second guess yourself. Without this compass, in this situation, you might feel that you should try to say things perfectly in order to be understood.
But this serves as a crucial reminder that criticism is, in fact, unavoidable.
It is simply part of the process of putting your work out there.
You could make a general manifesto for your life OR you could make separate lists for different areas of your life. For example: If you’re “too nice” and struggle with boundaries, you may have a manifesto for just this area. One of my guiding rules as I was strengthening my boundaries was “It’s more important to be respected than to be liked.” In The Empath’s Journey, I talk about my own tough-love process of seeing where I was being empathetic versus where I was choosing needing to be liked over being loyal to my beliefs.
A great starting point for writing your personal manifesto is getting inspired by other people’s manifestos or personal commandments.
Charlotte suggests, and I agree, that looking at other people’s manifestos to see what jumps out at us really helps.
What resonates? Do you agree or disagree with what’s on their list?
Start with people you admire, the fields you are interested in, and then branch out.
For example: This is author Gretchen Rubin’s Happiness Manifesto. (It includes things like “Think about yourself so you can forget yourself.”) In this Slate piece, Gretchen talks about how looking at other people’s manifesto helps clarify our own thought process. For example: She talks about how she disagrees with this point on another list: “Communicate who you are in all you do.” (If you work in branding/design, this might be relevant for you. But trying to follow this in life sounds particularly exhausting to me, just as it did to Rubin!)
So, other people’s lists can serve not just as inspiration, but also as irritants that help us think.
Charlotte Burgess-Auburn mentions Sister Corita Kent’s Art Department Rules as one of her favorites. It includes gems like “Nothing is a mistake. There’s no win and no fail. There’s only make.” and “Find a place you trust and then try trusting it for a while.”
I loved this last one and am going to borrow it for my own list.
As someone with trauma in their past, trust feels very hard for me. But this is a great guiding principle for being BOTH discerning and practicing trust. First, find a place (a person or a group) that feels trustworthy, and then try actively trusting it for a while.
If you’re an introvert, you may have already come across Susan Cain’s 10-point The Quiet Manifesto with items like “There is a word for people who are in their heads too much – thinkers.” and “The next generation of quiet kids can and must be raised to know their own strengths.”
This manifesto does not just tell us fellow introverts that Susan is a kindred spirit, it’s also been a way for her to communicate her principles for an outer movement that advocates for introverts.
Once you start looking for inspiration, you will find that some things will start jumping up for you, even in unrelated contexts. I was listening to a podcast on personal finance for women where a negotiation expert talked about how preparation is really important for successful negotiations.
She also talked about how important it is to know your non-negotiables.
If you compromise on a non-negotiable, then even if you’ve gained other things, it doesn’t really matter because you’ve compromised on something fundamental.
Both these points felt really resonant for me.
They also made me think of nuances.
So, on the one hand, I ALWAYS do better when I’m prepared. When I’ve ventured out of my comfort zone in the past – like speaking at an event – being prepared really helps tone down the overstimulation that attempting new things can bring up.
That’s my highly sensitive HSP side in play, which needs to gradually acclimate to new things.
But from time to time, I also have to remind myself to Throw my Hat over the Fence. Sometimes, I have to start before I feel ready.
So, both these seemingly contradictory principles feel right for my personal manifesto.
I am more than one thing.
On the one hand, I am a sensitive person who gets overstimulated quickly. On the other hand, I am also a high-sensation seeker (Yes, it’s possible to be BOTH a highly sensitive person and a high sensation seeker).
I like novelty and variety. I get bored when things are always the same. I need to keep on trying new things to keep myself excited.
As you write your own guiding principles, you will come across these different parts of yourself. After all, you’re not one thing. As Whitman said, you are large. You contain multitudes.
As you explore these contradictory parts of yourself, you might want to journal about specific points.
I think, in part, this might be one of the great benefits of doing this exercise.
It helps us think.
As I journal and think, it’s giving me clarity about which situations need a Prepare Well approach, and which need a Throw your Hat Over the Fence approach.
Here are some questions that Charlotte Burgess-Auburn includes that would serve as great exploratory prompts:
- Create a manifesto that is about your identity.
- Create a manifesto today and another one tomorrow.
- Start with twenty manifestos as your inspiration.
- Create a manifesto exclusively for yourself, one that no one else will see.
- Create a manifesto that is public, available to everyone.
As you write and decide what reminders you need for right now, you’ll find your attention turning back to yourself. What is it that I truly want right now? What do I really believe?
Instead of getting lost in outer details, you will find yourself paying attention to what is inside you, what is at the cusp of being seen or right on the tip of your tongue.
Now, your attention is on you and how you want to move forward, instead of being too-open and prone to being flooded.
Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey, which TEDx speaker Andy Mort calls “a fascinating insight into the life of a highly sensitive person & emotional empath.” Ritu is a Silver Medal awardee at the Rex Karamveer Chakra awards, co-presented by the United Nations in India.
SIGN UP HERE for Ritu’s newsletter The Highly Sensitive Creative or Get the book HERE.
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