Do you feel that there’s something wrong with you because you notice things others don’t see?

Do you feel that there is something wrong with you because you notice things that others don’t seem to observe or notice? If yes, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person.

“Highly Sensitive Person” (or HSP) is the more colloquial, commonly-used term for someone who has the temperament trait of Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Sensing subtleties and details is an essential part of the SPS trait.

If you are an HSP, your brain & nervous system are hardwired to process any stimuli that comes in deeply. This means you notice nuances and shades of meaning that others miss. (Your senses aren’t better, so, for example, it’s not that your eyesight is better. It’s that your brain is processing whatever comes in more deeply).

Sometimes, as sensitives, if we are surrounded by people who are very unlike us, this can make us feel “crazy” because they don’t notice what we notice. It can feel as if we’re seeing & noticing imaginary things. This can also trigger old wounds that many sensitives carry. As people who feel deeply, we’ve often had more than our fair share of experiences of feeling like the the outsider, of feeling weird, and of not quite belonging.

Many years ago, when I was first learning about the SPS trait, I had an experience like this.

I had recently relocated from India to the United States. In those first few years after the move, I could often sense cultural differences that I still couldn’t quite articulate, still couldn’t quite put into words.

I didn’t have the language to talk about them even though I felt them.

And when I tried to explain this feeling to others around me, I would often get a blank look. These people had been in the U.S. for years, and THEY had never noticed these differences.

Looking back, I can see that I was struggling to explain something I didn’t yet grasp myself. And that was part of the reason they didn’t get me. But it was also clear that they hadn’t had experiences like mine. This just left me feeling as if what I was sensing was invalid.

It also brought up old wounds of not being understood, of not being seen.

It was only gradually, as I learnt more about cultural differences and read books like The Culture Map that I realized that what I was noticing were REAL cultural differences.

I wasn’t “imagining” them.

It wasn’t all in my head.

I was actually noticing subtle details that others had missed.

Once I understood this, instead of feeling wounded by the fact that others couldn’t validate me (they genuinely didn’t notice these things), I started to see that my sensitivity deepened my understanding of the world around me.

Instead of thinking that I was crazy when I wasn’t mirrored back, now, I could see that there were benefits to being someone who saw shades and nuances of meaning.

It gave me a clearer picture if I could just stop abandoning my opinion and comparing myself to others.

If you’re a highly sensitive person who has felt crazy or weird for observing things that others don’t notice or have been dismissed by people around you, I hope you see that there’s nothing wrong with you.

You have a trait that is based in actual biological differences.

It is an essential part of who you are.

With this context, now, when you’ll give your noticing more importance, your sensitivity will have a chance to become a true ally. It will be that thing which helps you notice red flags about others, that fuels your intuition, and that makes life full of depth and meaning.

Instead of only seeing sensitivity as something that makes the world overstimulating, you’ll also start noticing the other side, the side that gives life its richness , that helps you tap into its mystery.

You’ll see that what you thought made you not belong is exactly that thing which is only yours to give, only yours to contribute.

Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey, which TEDx speaker Andy Mort calls “a fascinating insight into the life of a highly sensitive person & emotional empath.” Ritu is a Silver Medal awardee at the Rex Karamveer Chakra awards, co-presented by the United Nations in India.

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