As a sensitive & introverted child, I was called “shy” for years.

As a sensitive & introverted child, I was called “shy” for years. This is one of those labels that can take us years & years to unpeel off us. 

I was reminded of this in my lovely conversation with Sigrid for her The New Human summit. 

I know I’m not the only one who has had experiences like this. Growing up, we often get labeled “shy” or “too quiet” or “too intense” or a host of other things.

But we don’t start off as “shy.” 

As little children, when we’re standing at the edge of a new playground and are told to join in, yes, we are hesitant. But it’s because we are noticing so many details that it gets way too overwhelming, way too quickly.  

What we need then is not people who tell us to JUMP IN the deep end of the pool, but those who let us dip a toe in the water, those who let us get acclimated to our environments.  

Because once we have some exposure to a new situation, it doesn’t take us that long to get used to it. 

But if we’re pushed, the feeling of being more and more overstimulated, more and more overwhelmed takes over.    

This is true for sensitive kids AND sensitive adults. 

We need to get used to new situations and new people by dipping our toe in. 

When we understand that the overwhelm that sometimes overtakes us is because of a deep processing happening inside our brain and our nervous system and is not something we made up “in our heads,” we can have permission to take things slow.

Taking our time at the beginning and gradually getting used to situations helps us get things done more easily.

Understanding this is part of a journey for all sensitives who have been labeled growing up.

Learning about how my sensitivity is a personality trait rooted in biologically hardwired differences has helped me have a little more compassion for the sensitive child I once was.  

And I hope that as you look back, you’ll have compassion for the little child you once were, the one who muddled through, the one who did the very best they could with what they knew.

Maybe, others couldn’t understand you then.

But you can give yourself your own love, your own affirmation now.

You know who you are. And that’s what matters.

Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey and a silver medal awardee at the Rex Karamveer Chakra awards, co-presented by the United Nations in India. 

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