If you are a highly sensitive person (HSP) who enjoys “safe thrills” such as a not-super-scary rollercoaster or are someone who gets bored easily, you might ALSO have the trait of high-sensation-seeking.
And while this sounds like a contradiction, to be both someone who observes before taking action and someone who is an explorer, around 30% of highly sensitive people are exactly like this. They are high-sensation-seeking sensitives.
I am one of these people. I have written before about feeling as if I have two different people inside me, one that is stepping on the accelerator and the other that is pushing the brakes. I think this tension between my highly sensitive side and my variety-seeking side is what makes me creative. But sometimes, this can also be confusing and pull me in opposite directions. It’s also frustrating to figure out which part of myself I need to give attention to in that moment.
The highly sensitive person in me gets overstimulated easily when there’s a lot going on. But the high-sensation-seeking part of me gets bored really easily and needs stimulation and novelty.
It’s tricky to balance these different parts. And sometimes, I can emphasize the wrong thing. For example, I have been feeling burnt out and exhausted these past few months. At first, I tried to tackle this by resting and doing less. Because I was also feeling overwhelmed, I thought my highly sensitive side needed a metaphorical sensory deprivation tank.
But as I tried to do this, to cut out stimulation, I inadvertently cut out variety from my daily routine. Soon enough, it was feeling as if every day was exactly the same as the last. The routine didn’t feel calming. It just felt mind-numbingly boring. This kept going on until I realized that I am recharged not by doing nothing, but by trying new things. What I needed to do was not stop doing new things, but stop throwing them at myself at breakneck speed, like I did when I was over-indulging my high-sensation-seeking side.
So, now, I have added variety back in. Recently, I attended a YouTube Live about using tarot cards as writing prompts. New images and associations jumped up. I went to an online talk about the history of the San Francisco Bay Area hosted by my local library. I found that the original Disneyland rides were manufactured by a company near where I live. How cool was that! I took out old issues of Smithsonian magazines I hadn’t read and made a collage, saving some articles that I do want to read. It made me think of growing up in India and reading about the Smithsonian museums in Reader’s Digest. I listened to 5-minutes that will make you love Mozart and realized that I’ve actually heard Mozart before without realizing that it was Mozart.
I felt interested, engaged, a little awake. I even had a few moments of delight.
And I realized that I had been acting out a bias against my own way of being. I sometimes feel less “adult” because I just can’t do the same things day in and day out. I need variety. I need novelty. At yet, at the same time, sometimes, I do get overwhelmed when there’s a lot happening around me.
It’s a tricky balance, and while trying to rebalance, I had unconsciously thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
Yes, I needed less of anxiety-provoking, overstimulating news. But I needed more variety and fun and creative exploration. So, with that in mind, I am now back to trying new things. I am back to balancing myself on this see-saw of being a highly sensitive person who can get overstimulated & being a high sensation seeker who loves exploration and novelty. I expect I won’t do this perfectly, but I guess that’s not the point. The point is to realize that what I think should recharge me and what actually does are often two different things.
Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey, which TEDx speaker Andy Mort calls “A fascinating insight into the life of a highly sensitive person and an emotional empath.” Sign up for Ritu’s newsletter to get two free chapters of The Empath’s Journey.
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