“To think independently of other human beings is impossible, and if it were possible, it would be undesirable.”

In these shelter-in-place times, this quote by Alan Jacobs from his book How to Think jumped out at me.

“To think independently of other human beings is impossible, and if it were possible it would be undesirable. Thinking is necessarily, thoroughly, and wonderfully social. Everything you think is a response to what someone else has thought and said. And when people commend someone for “thinking for herself” they usually mean “ceasing to sound like people I dislike and starting to sound more like people I approve of.”

What an interesting way of thinking about thinking! Thinking is a social act.

I don’t think I fully agree with Alan. After all, we connect lots of dots on our own.

BUT there’s definitely a lot of wisdom in this quote. Many times, other people can help clarify our thinking by challenging us, asking us questions, and offering their own opinions.

I was talking to someone recently and telling them about my different loves. Writing is for the voice, I said, while art is for the heart. That’s something I have thought of for some years. When I paint or color, it feels like immediate nourishment for my heart. When I write, it feels like I am freeing up my expression, letting myself say more and more of what I really think.

While this distinction often feels true for me, the quizzical expression of the person I was talking to made me pause and reflect. It made me think that it’s also true that writing helps me join broken bits of my feelings together. It’s also true that painting helps me express things that I haven’t quite said out loud in words.

So, writing is also for the heart and painting is also for breaking conventional ways of expressing myself. They both do different things at different times and in different ways.

I would never have clarified this so clearly without the conversation I had. Just the expression on the other person’s face made me reflect. It made me think about how “writing is for the voice” might have been true for me once when I was just starting out as a writer & trying to build up the courage to say what I think.

But that was not my whole truth today. And I definitely couldn’t paint writing or art or dance with that broad brush of thought.

So, yes, there is definitely a huge social component to thinking, now that I think of it! And it’s something to keep in my mind during times of stress when the hermit-like part of me wants to curl up like a hedgehog.

Other people can help me think.

Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey, which TEDx speaker Andy Mort calls “a fascinating insight into the life of a highly sensitive person & emotional empath.” Get Two Free Chapters of The Empath’s Journey by signing up for Ritu’s newsletter.