Here are the 50 things that made my 2020!
1. I funneled my tendency to collect information by curating it on this site & passing it on to friends, such as this cool book on Awakening the Ancient Power of Snake.
2. When quarantine started, I made a Possibilities List, which was a reservoir of ideas (such as online groups to try) that helped me connect and learn. This year also helped me value my adaptability as a strength and has given me insight about how adaptability is even more powerful when it has a clear understanding of resources (like that possibilities list).
3. As a highly sensitive person, it has been really helpful for me to understand that Our Strengths and Weaknesses are Interconnected. As empaths or sensitives, we can feel victimized by feeling that our empathy comes with a dark shadow and feel like being empathic is a Catch-22. But if you look around you, this principle of our strengths coming with a downside applies to everyone. Everyone’s gifts & weaknesses are intimately connected. People who are good communicators sometimes tend to overshare and push other people’s buttons and they have to learn how not to do that. People who are well-grounded often find it that others around them start leaning on them for grounding, which can feel like a real burden.
4. As a highly sensitive person with trauma in the past, I have experienced a lot of rage (not just anger, pure rage) in the past few years. This has felt really troubling until this year when I came across Ruth King’s work & her book Healing Rage: “Rage is the descendant of trauma and the twin of shame.” Just the fact that I can now experience my unprocessed rage is a sign that I am in a more stable place where I have permission to feel my feelings. Fascinating stuff!
5. I am Built for Depth, Not Speed as a highly sensitive person.
6. I got to interview Grace Kerina for my upcoming book for writers from whose work the quote given above comes (Grace also writes under the pen name Alice Archer). I had read Grace’s article about this idea many years ago and LOVED it, so it was a hugely meaningful synchronicity/serendipity when a writer friend connected me with her.
7. On a related note, interviewing more than a dozen authors for my upcoming book was wonderful!
8. Creativity is the sum total of Divergent Thinking + Convergent Thinking. As an intuitive, open-ended INFP personality type, I once again learned that creativity (and writing a book) is not only about Divergent Thinking (opening up possibilities), something that comes easily to me. It’s important to not only open possibilities, but also close them down if you want to actually build something.
10. This was a breakthrough year for me in terms of understanding energetic skills. If you get drowned in other people’s feelings (or if their feelings almost wander into your space, you will enjoy reading these articles I wrote on Grounding & Centering. I also taught them in one of the two talks I did at East West Bookshop in 2020.
11. It was really cool to be one of the highly sensitive experts that contributed an article for Sensitive Evolution’s 2020 Empowerment Guide for Sensitive People (the event has ended). I am also part of Sensitive Evolution’s 2021 Empowerment Guide for Sensitive People (my article will appear later this month), a blog series that features articles by many highly sensitive experts.
12. After 8 years of regular cooking, I finally felt skilled enough (and nudged enough by the shelter-in-place) to use my copy of The Flavor Bible, an encyclopedia of which flavors go well with others.
13. In pandemic creativity, my husband grew cilantro and baked bread, while I tried new recipes, such as this one by Nadiya Hussain from her Netflix Show.
14. Otter and Pocket were two useful tech discoveries. I used Otter’s AI to transcribe interviews for my next book & Pocket to save articles to read later, which made the information-collecting magpie in me really happy.
15. I lived out my value to support fellow artistes/writers (one of my intentions for 2020) in different ways. I read & gave feedback on their upcoming books to two writer friends, left book reviews whenever something spoke to me, and did things like buy a slightly more expensive advance copy of a book to support writers like David Kadavy whose work I’ve followed for a while.
16. Inspired by the different ways in which my fellow writer friends were giving, I did free listening sessions for highly sensitive creatives this year. It made me feel connected to a bigger whole and helped me feel as if I was giving something back.
17. Nourishing Podcasts I Listened to this year.
18. Being a guest on the amazing Dr. Bernard Beitman’s podcast about Meaningful Coincidences in January 2020. Dr Beitman is the first psychiatrist since Carl Jung to systematize the study of coincidences. His is a truly amazing podcast, and not only was it an honor to be interviewed by him, listening to his other interviews when I felt down helped me several times this year.
19. This Article on Fox versus Hedgehog Writers. I found this article synchronistically a couple of days after I had a dream in which a white hedgehog-like creature appeared.
20. The symbol of the Black Jaguar: Another synchronicity involved a Black Jaguar. It popped up in my mind’s eye when I did a Shamanic Journey at the beginning of the year. I had many dreams with it in them, and then, at the end of the year, I did another meditation where the teacher talked about how it was a symbol for the third chakra, going down into the unconscious and reclaiming our power.
21. I experienced more peace this year because I practiced these Starter Tips on How to Stop Being “Too Nice.” I drew a circle around my energy. Kind, Not Nice is something I’ve been practicing more & more.
22. In the article above, I talk about thinking about boundaries in two, slightly different ways — as a fence, and as a container. “Remember that boundaries do two things. One, they are the fence that protects your space (so this is in relationship to other people.) Two, they are containers that help you do your work. So, for example, recently, I have realized that I don’t want to be on social media every day. If I don’t reply to messages immediately, it’s not about using boundaries as a fence to ward off unwanted interactions. It is about using boundaries as a container so I don’t get distracted.”
23. You don’t owe anyone an interaction. I came across this idea a few years ago. It’s something for all of us, especially “nice women” who think we have to be available all-the-time to everyone to remember.
24. The best book I have ever read on Perfectionism. The best non-fiction, self-help book I read this year and THE best book I have ever read on perfectionism. I picked this up on a whim. It’s for parents/teachers of gifted children but I saw so much of myself in it. Insightful, thoughtful and detailed.
25. I am by no means a minimalist, but as a highly sensitive person, I have streamlined my life by being intentional about the number of things I own. I have loose “rules” for things I buy. For example: I am allowed to buy as many books as I want, but I only buy magazines when I travel. This year, I bought even less things (I did buy lots of ebooks).
26. Make a List of Things You Did Not Buy: This idea comes from Rob Walker’s book The Art of Noticing. Although I haven’t made an actual list, I remembered it when I thumbed through a holiday catalogue & realized that there wasn’t a single thing there that I wanted to buy.
27. New Shopping “Rule”: Buying less is better than buying green. I figured out this new underlying rule for myself when I realized how frustrated I felt about trying to find “green” products that were actually green and not super-expensive. This is an unsexy thought in the time of “organizing gurus” and Instagram homes (and even closets), but true, and as this article says, buying less is better than buying green not only for the environment, but also for our happiness.
28. I figured out how to borrow ebooks from my local public library. I feel very tech-intimidated at times & had been putting this off for months. Nudged by my bookbuying spree during the pandemic, I finally tried it. It took me under 10 minutes.
29. Seven years of blogging. Here’s a post I wrote a few years ago about Lessons Learned from Blogging. I am a private person who writes from a personal space, so if you are thinking of starting a blog & in double minds about it, you might like it.
30. Two energy-infusing books were bookends for my year. Towards the start of the year, I read Mark Nepo’s beautiful, lyrical Drinking From the River of Light: The Life of Expression. Towards the end of the year, I read Austin Kleon’s inspiring and energy-giving book Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Good Times and Bad when I was feeling very overwhelmed after the California wildfires turned the sky outside my home orange.
31. I felt like reading poetry a lot more. “A poet is someone who can pour light into a cup, then raise it to nourish your beautiful parched, holy mouth.” Hafiz. Maybe because poetry is essence and pure emotion.
32. Are INFPs and INFJs the most Extroverted Introverts? I am a definite introvert and understanding that has been hugely helpful. But identifying too much with introvert memes in the past hasn’t been good for me. I need connection, and this year, I was intentional in getting that.
33. Getting beyond labels, but not throwing them away. The term “introvert” means something real and is very helpful to know. But it does not define the whole of me. Much like INFP or Writer or Woman.
34. Some of the books I enjoyed reading this year included The INFP Book, Awakening the Ancient Power of Snake, Idealist Dreams: How I Learned to Plan as an INFP, The Contenders, This is Not a Werewolf Story, Still Writing: The Perils and Pleasures of a Creative Life, and Get the Word Out: Write a Book that Makes a Difference.
35. I found it hard to read this year. So, I read several “books with lots of pictures” like The Shape of Ideas, Bibliophile and Happily Ever After and Everything in Between. I also dipped into books like Kitchen Creativity (by the same author as The Flavor Bible), which was amazing. Anyone who can combine cooking, creativity, and Carl Jung is a kindred spirit!
36. I love learning about the origins and etymology of words. I watched this really interesting conversation with Dr. Shashi Tharoor about the English language & English words “looted” from India. (“Loot” is an Indian word. India became independent in 1947 and was a colony of Britain before that) Did you know that the popular word “Avatar” comes from the Indian word avtara?
37. Some of the Netflix documentaries I enjoyed watching included Secrets of the Saqqara Tomb, Homecoming: A Film by Beyonce, The Social Dilemma, Becoming, Connected, and Down to Earth.
38. Some of the YouTube channels I watched included Irene Lyon, Yoga with Adriene, Qigong for Vitality, America’s Test Kitchen, Our Stupid Reactions, Emotion Dynamics, and CliftonStrengths.
39. The last, the Gallup CliftonStrengths is based on the Gallup CliftonStrengths Test,a personality test that determines your top “strengths” (or more technically “talent themes”). The idea behind this test is that we grow most in our areas of strength, so it’s well-worth identifying them. It tests you for strengths like Empathy, Focus, Learner etc and not whether you are good at a specific skill like Math. This year, I went deeper into understanding my strengths & how they apply to my writing. It turns out that the combination of my strengths is exactly suited to the genre I have intuitively picked out for my next book, Creative Nonfiction.
40. When I was a younger INFP, I often became one-sided if I felt strongly about something. I have become a lot more objective as I have gotten older. For example: With my increased interest in philosophy (a subject I have always enjoyed), I watched Indian (primarily Hindu) mythologist Devdutt Pattanaik’s interview at Algebra, Chennai and Demolishing Devdutt Pattanaik Point-by-Point in Detail to get more “data points” and opposing viewpoints.
41. Some of the articles that either gave me some new awareness or helped re-center me this year included The Tools that Get You Better, Keep You Better, What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage, Authenticity vs. Attachment: Which One Will You Choose?, A Few Suggestions for “Regulating” Fear, Grief, Anger, and Joy, and Will this enlarge me or diminish me?
42. Deciding to watch/follow something that someone else suggested. My husband has been asking me to watch Avatar: The Last Airbender for years, and I finally did. I LOVED it, so I am not sure what my resistance was about. I am definitely a waterbender! This is one of the quirks of being an INFP personality type. I am very accommodating generally, but then become immovable and obstinate over the smallest things. Maybe, it’s like a declaration of independence. Anyways, this is a really cool YouTube Video in which Aang, the little boy who is the last airbender, gets a lesson on the Chakras from his teacher.
43. Going on long drives with my husband. We discovered cool things near our home like a little lake!
44. My Compendium Journal (The One I Have is Sadly Discontinued but You Might Enjoy this Selection).
45. Dipping into The Animal Wisdom Tarot Cards. So many animals roamed my dream world this year or popped up in visualizations.
46. This quote from the book How to Think which talks about how thinking is not done alone. Thinking is a social act. “To think independently of other human beings is impossible, and if it were possible it would be undesirable. Thinking is necessarily, thoroughly, and wonderfully social. Everything you think is a response to what someone else has thought and said. And when people commend someone for “thinking for herself” they usually mean “ceasing to sound like people I dislike and starting to sound more like people I approve of.”
47. Praying at certain times, even when I did not quite believe in it. Asking for grace and receiving it.
49. Getting to attend online talks by Julia Cameron, whose beloved book on creativity The Artist’s Way has been my own personal lighthouse for more than a decade. If you love Julia like I do, check out her upcoming online events events here.
50. Receiving thoughtful gifts like a box of these teas for my birthday.
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