If you are a highly sensitive person (HSP), you are built a little differently from non-HSPs.
Because you process information deeply, you see details and nuances that others miss, but you might also get overwhelmed when there’s too much happening all around you.
Hectic schedules and too much caffeine can leave you feeling overstimulated. And when it comes to dealing with images of violence and chaos in the outside world, it can feel downright emotionally exhausting.
As someone who writes about being highly sensitive, I have realized that HSPs often need different things than non-HSPs to be happy and content. Here are a few of these things.
1. Depth, Not Speed.
When fellow sensitive Grace Kerina talked about how she was built for Depth, Not Speed in one of her newsletters, it immediately struck home for me.
If you are a highly sensitive person, you probably feel this way too.
You like to go deep with things. And depth takes time.
You notice details and pay attention to how you feel about things and this can make choosing complicated. For example: Buying a certain brand of makeup may bring up concerns about how it’s been tested. And so, you research and research until you find something suitable. OR you end up buying nothing.
Every choice feels like choosing many other things, and weighing all our options takes time. As sensitives, we need to embrace both our depth of feeling and a certain simplicity so we are not struggling with day-to-day decisions all the time. Maybe, you will only buy gifts from a specific shop that cares about the environment. Maybe, you will go paperless for most things.
2. Time to Adjust to Change.
Big life changes can leave us feeling a little shook up.
When I moved from India to the United States 8 years ago, my sister (a fellow HSP) told me that I should start with the assumption that it might take me longer than other people to adjust. So, if it took them a year or two, it might take me 2-3 years to fully adjust.
While this felt frustrating at that time, the move also became a HUGE growth experience for me. It showed me new ways of doing things, new ways of being just because I was so sensitive and noticed so much.
The one big thing I would change about those first few years is my own unkindness to myself, the Hurry Up critical voice that was in my head.
So, if you are in the middle of change — if you are moving to a new city or getting married or having a baby — I would urge you to give yourself time to adjust. You are a person who notices things and feels deeply about them. Even if you go a little slower, you will also learn a lot of things that others might miss.
3. A Creative Outlet
Many highly sensitive people have a strong need to create. Making something gives us a chance to channel our deep feelings, insights and observations into something meaningful.
So, whether you like to paint or dance or grow beautiful plants that invite bees and butterflies, please let yourself do that. Creating not only acts as a safety valve that releases the pressure of intense feelings, it also brings in things highly sensitive people get a lot of nourishment from — beauty and color and wonder and a sense of being connected to something bigger than just us.
4. Healthy Meals and Little Caffeine.
On a more day-to-day level, you might find that you get a lot more “hangry” (angry because you are hungry) when you haven’t eaten properly than non-HSPs. If you were already feeling overstimulated, hunger can become the last straw that breaks the camel’s back.
So, it’s important for highly sensitive people to have healthy meals at regular intervals and also to watch how much caffeine we have and how it affects us. I stopped having caffeine after 2 pm a while back, and it can be helpful for HSPs to experiment with this and see what works and what doesn’t.
5. A Connection With Something Bigger.
Our world is full of uncertainty and chaos. Sometimes, good things DON’T happen to good people. When the world is so confusing, it can become really easy for emotionally sensitive people to feel disillusioned and as if nothing makes sense.
We can sink into the murky depths of despair.
In my life, I have found that the reason for things happening is sometimes really hard to find or to make peace with.
While highly sensitive people are seekers who will always keep seeking answers, it’s the experience of living that can become our lifeboat.
When we feel a sense of connection to the bigger mystery and when we have moments of joy even when we haven’t found all our answers, we feel hope, and it is these sparks of hope that can keep us going when our minds can’t make sense of chaos.
What helps you feel hopeful?
For me, it is art and creativity, working with my dreams and acknowledging the synchronicities that have brought me where I am today.
If you are a highly sensitive person who tends to discount what they need (which often looks different from what others need), how can accepting and taking care of those needs make you happier?
How can you give yourself the kindness that you so readily give others?
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