While being highly sensitive comes with many great things, such as being highly emotionally responsive and creative, there is also a flip side to it.
As a highly sensitive person, you get overwhelmed and overstimulated more quickly than others.
I have had many overwhelming moments recently, especially with all the turmoil that’s going on here in the States. So, I thought I would do a list of tips to deal with overwhelm (and also talk about some of what didn’t work and why).
If you are overwhelmed as a highly sensitive person, first figure out what kind of overwhelm it is.
This is going to sound obvious, but when we are getting overstimulated, it’s important to figure out what kind of overwhelm we are feeling. Is it emotional overwhelm or mental overload? Of course, these two things are interrelated.
But if you are feeling a lot of fear, for example, then, the angle you take is different. (For example, I came to know of someone saying a racial slur at a grocery store near my home and it sent my anxiety shooting up). Is it an intense emotion or too many things to mentally process that’s behind your overwhelm?
If it is an intense emotion that you are feeling, discharge it safely.
When we are emotionally overloaded, highly sensitive people can feel like a top spinning out of control. Intense feelings need to be discharged safely, so that we can integrate them in our body. This not only helps lessen the energetic load our nervous system is feeling, it helps us integrate the feeling and use it to clarify our thinking.
For fear, try shaking your legs to mimic the energy of fear. For anger, try beating pillows. And if the emotion feels too raw or is bringing up traumatic memories from the past, try discharging the emotions in a gentler way, like going for a walk, dancing or getting out some paints and finger painting. What we are looking for is a physical release.
And try this if you are feeling mentally overloaded as a highly sensitive person.
As I have been working on my next book for highly sensitive writers and dealing with the outside world, I have also felt a lot of mental overwhelm. It’s as if too many tabs are open in my brain. There are too many things to deal with. When this happens, it’s as if all the big and small things on my To-Do list feel glommed together.
I have found that just as freeing up space on a full-to-the-brim phone or computer helps you access all the functions, crossing off the small, nagging, everyday things (that logically shouldn’t make that much of a difference) really helps my overwhelmed brain focus. For example: My spice cabinet got totally out of order as we cooked even more at home. I cleaned it up, and now, I don’t feel overwhelmed every time I open it. This took energy, but it also gave me an energy boost.
If you are a person who thrives on positivity, avoid negative people.
This is going to sound counterintuitive, but if you are a high positivity person, negativity will drag you down even more than it affects other people. I have Positivity in my top 10 strengths as per the Gallup StrengthsFinder test & negativity really gets to me. This does not mean becoming a Pollyana, someone who pretends to be happy. But high positivity people need to focus on the positive and the good, especially when times are stressful.
Focusing on the good doesn’t mean burying your head in the sand.
Some months back, I went totally off the news at a time when I felt overwhelmed (I had spent the first few months learning all I could about the pandemic and felt like I was prepared). I figured the news I needed to know about would get filtered down from conversations with other people. BUT this made me more anxious, not less.
As a highly sensitive person, I am cautious and deliberative. And I realized that knowing what’s happening around me makes me feel more self-effective and adaptable. I feel more aware of the dangers. So, now, I am back to watching news (intentionally) and following podcasts like Coronavirus: Fact versus Fiction by CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta which give me context and good information for this complicated time.
Different energetic practices are effective in different situations.
I have talked about grounding and centering here and here respectively. Grounding is our connection to the earth and centering to our own self. Both these are wonderful, essential practices. But these are only two of many different energetic practices. I had an experience recently where I was interacting with a very draining person, and it felt again (even though I have gotten a lot better at this) like their energy had gotten into my skin.
I was feeling more and more panicked. Even though I tried to center, I just couldn’t find it. Grounding didn’t seem to work either. But then, I visualized pushing out their energy from my body, and it worked! So, clearing my space was what was needed at this time, not connecting to the earth or trying to find my center in my already overwhelmed body.
Even if you are an introverted highly sensitive person, community & connectedness are really important.
I am an INFP and an introvert. I also have a pronounced “hermit mode” and can spend days and weeks on my own. BUT I have realized that I am not one of those introverts who say they don’t want to be around people. The F for feeler in INFP means I am very people-oriented. I even wrote a post about how INFJs and INFPs might be the most extroverted introverts. This doesn’t mean we like big groups. It means we like to connect one-on-one or in small groups with people on a regular basis. Being conscious of this and attending online calls and meetups really helped me in the first several months of the pandemic.
If you are a highly sensitive person AND a high sensation seeker, doing the same things everyday will drain you of energy.
It’s possible to be both highly sensitive and a high sensation seeker. I have written about it in this post. I am a sensation seeker but not super-high on the scale. So, I don’t like to do “dangerous things” but I NEED variety. I hate doing the same things again and again.
Boredom has been a huge problem lately, especially with mundane tasks like cooking. I have made little tweaks & experiments using The Flavor Bible & recently borrowed Kitchen Creativity from my local library. I LOVE collecting trivia. The delight of finding a new fact has made me appreciate the act of cooking & has given me more ways to experiment in the kitchen.
As highly sensitive creatives, we need to be conscious about filling our creative well.
This is something I have known for a long time (definitely more than a decade) but it’s still the thing I find the hardest to do. I can be miserly with my creativity. This summer, as I interviewed authors for my book for highly sensitive writers, I went into unhealthy INFP mode (trying to push through the process) & I neglected filling the creative well. That slowed me down and made me feel unmotivated. I am back to doing artist dates (from Julia Cameron’s fabulous The Artist’s Way) where I spend a few hours a week doing something playful.
Do things that make you feel self-effective as a highly sensitive person.
There are so many things we cannot control. We can’t control the outside world. We can’t control how people react. But we can control who and what we give to. When this year started, one of my intentions (not goals, just an intention) was to support other artists.
I did this in a few ways this year. I did two beta reads (reading a book to give feedback) for writer friends. I pre-ordered a slightly more expensive special advance copy of a book by a writer I admire. I also did some free listening sessions for creatives, as my way to give back to the community.
What did I receive in return? I felt kinship with the people I supported. I felt connected with different artists who expanded my worldview. And I felt as if I was living my own values and supporting the things I value in the world.
That made me feel good and added to my life.
These are just some of the things I have learned and experimented with during these last six months. I hope you found some of these useful. I know it’s easy for our highly sensitive nervous systems and brains to get overwhelmed and overloaded when there’s so much happening around us.
But overload doesn’t mean there is something wrong with us. It’s a signal from our bodies to slow down. It means our nervous system needs a break.
That same responsiveness and sensitivity that registers bad things — injustices and emotional chaos — also registers all the good things, all the beauty in this world. And this adaptability is what makes us resilient as highly sensitive people.
Take good care and with love,
Ritu
Ritu Kaushal is the author of the book The Empath’s Journey, which combines personal stories with practical tools to help highly sensitive people channel their deep sensitivity. Sign up for Ritu’s newsletter for two free chapters of The Empath’s Journey.
You can find The Empath’s Journey here.
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