I hope you are doing well wherever you are in the world and keeping safe. I am trying to use this challenging time to learn more about my fear and where to direct my attention.
While the danger is real, so is the truth that a lot of us are more fortunate than others. If we can stay at home, that means that we are already in a better circumstance than millions of people around the world. This weekend, I saw some harrowing pictures of migrant workers trying to leave Indian cities for their homes in rural India after they suddenly found themselves homeless and stranded as businesses shut down.
India recently put into place a nationwide lockdown for all of its 1.3 billion people for 3 weeks. While this is, of course, much needed because Coronavirus would have disastrous consequences there, it has also created cascading effects. Many daily wage earners, the poorest of the poor, are left homeless and penniless as businesses shut down.
When I think about things like these, any fears I have in our own shelter-in-place here in California seem like nothing.
And yet, fear is part of my experience too.
My fear and anxiety don’t magically disappear although I can frame them a little differently. As the number of Coronavirus cases here in the U.S. grows, like most other people, I have had tense moments of anxiety.
There have been days when I have successfully directed my attention away from this fear. In the past few weeks, I proactively looked for and attended online events and talks. I did a couple of Zoom co-working events, attended an online talk hosted by my favorite bookstore and signed up for a couple of mini-workshops online.
And all of these did give me a real sense of connection and community. They also helped me direct my attention in a positive direction.
But what about the places of fear?
Those places and moments have also been there. And I am learning that what I need to do is not to eliminate my fear, but to learn about it and be patient and compassionate with that small part of me that gets scared.
One way to do this is to actively release the fear that is rising up inside me.
When I feel scared, I feel shaky. I feel like my body is getting frazzled. I feel like it’s getting overloaded and overwhelmed.
And it is.
When we feel fearful, we feel as if we just can’t take it anymore physically. We move into fight, flight or freeze. But what we need to do is release.
Our energy is needing expression, so we need to express it in a healthy way. Whenever people say that we need to sit with our feelings (and I understand what they mean – Don’t run away from feelings), I think that No, I need to move with my feelings.
It’s hard to sit still with feelings. It’s easier and more effective to actually, physically move.
Catharsis — expressing feelings so you get the nervous energy out of your physical body — is about doing this. So, if you are feeling scared, let your body express it. Get on your feet, put some music and let yourself shake. Let your legs tremble. Let yourself shiver. Let yourself sway from side to side. Let loose the energy of fear that is building up inside.
Doing this is like releasing the steam from a pressure cooker. You will feel much better afterward.
Fear can make us freeze or go into an overexcitable state. So, doing this helps physically release that tension OR get past that paralysis. It helps us own our fear, so it doesn’t get locked and doesn’t build in layers inside our body.
So, now, I need to take my own recommendation and go and shake some! And I hope you find this useful as you navigate your own way through anxious moments. It’s okay to feel fearful. It’s normal to feel what’s happening outside in the world today trigger old wounds.
Now is the time for us to extend compassion to that scared, fearful part of us. Now is the time to soothe it and hold it in our own warm embrace.
With love, Ritu.
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