Fill Yourself Up With Your Own Energy.

This weekend, I corralled together a bunch of art materials, threw a bedsheet over the dining table & started painting. 

It was raining outside.

I didn’t know what I wanted to paint and I didn’t feel like planning. So, I just dipped my fingers in the chocolate-brown and deep red acrylic paintboxes I have and started covering the white canvas with the colors. Then, I cut out some sheets of collage paper and stuck them on the canvas.     

For some reason, I wanted to cut little triangles, so I did that. I thought about what the shape might mean. I have been doing some centering and grounding exercises and thinking about how energy moves. Was the triangle supposed to point up, like energy moving up? Was it supposed to point down, like energy moving downward? I didn’t know.

I just played.

I cut out shapes that felt attractive to me from the printed collage paper. One shape I wanted to paste and paint was the “egg shape.” I have been watching a lot of gardening/how-to-grow-things videos on YouTube and thinking about how this might be a good time to plant some new seeds.

Like a lot of us, I have had many overwhelming and anxious moments in the past few weeks. But I have also had some surprisingly good moments. Turning inwards, cooking more and sheltering-in-place, as we are now in quarantine here in California, have had some simplifying and grounding effects.

I know there’ll be more anxious moments in the future. But at least for now, at least for this moment, I can focus on things that are within my control. And I can focus on things that fill me up. Painting and playing with colors is one of them. As a creative person, I love to do many things. I like photography. I LOVE to dance (it’s my first love). And, of course, I love writing.

Each of these activities has a different flavor. Photography, for example, is really great to bring me into the moment. But I always think, ART is FOR THE HEART. When I paint, I ALWAYS feel as if I have done something to nourish my heart.

All the colors I intuitively pick out are the colors I need right at that moment. They are the exact energy I need then. So, right now, I need red’s grounding. I need the nourishment and deliciousness of chocolate-brown.

Whenever I paint like this, intuitively, and just follow my heart, it always feels deeply supportive.

It also shows me that I don’t need to know what I am making before I begin. It’s okay to experiment, to play, to make “mistakes,” to sense and feel and move from that feeling.

So, if you are feeling stuck or dispirited or tired right now, try making something. It doesn’t have to be high art. It doesn’t have to look like anything. The pleasure is in the doing.

If you don’t have paints, you could get some. Or you could make your own stains with things like tea and coffee. You could cut up some old magazines and make collages. You could use crayolas and art supplies that children use. It doesn’t have to be expensive or a big production or anything like that unless that’s something you want to do.

Remember, Artists make something out of nothing. We collect scraps of paper for paintings. We use old debit cards to smear paint. We look at things that feel useless to others and find that they are a treasure.

AND we are all artists.

Each one of us is creative in some way. That’s just how people are.

In the middle of all that is going on with this unprecedented Coronavirus pandemic that has caught us all by surprise, people are still adapting and flowing and creating.

Of course, we can’t overlook the fact that a lot of negative things are happening.

But so are good things.

We are learning to connect in new ways. We are doing virtual meetups. We are thinking about how to support other people with our work. We are donating to causes that speak to us and are concerned about local businesses that depend on us.

The thing is, we depend on them too.

And while we are doing all this and learning to manage the see-saw of our feelings, we need to find a connection to something bigger.

And that feeling comes most easily when we are creating something, when we are full of an idea, when we are germinating a seed inside us or on our windowsill, when we are filling ourselves with good energy and the beauty of this world.

So, if you are feeling down or a little lackluster, try creating something. Fill yourself up from the inside. Create your own energy. The bubble that we are often told to visualize as a shield/edge as sensitives needs to be filled with our own energy.

And there’s no better way of doing that than doing something that fills us with joy.

What makes you happy?

Do that and fill yourself up with that energy, so you can respond to what’s happening around us from that place instead of the shaky, fearful part that we all have inside.

P.S. The picture above is a part of the painting/collage I am doing (Still playing with it!) I am going to post more photos on my Facebook page later on today, so if you are interested, come and have a look here.