I first discovered Amanda Linehan, a fellow HSP and INFP writer, while doing a Google search about INFPs. I remember going through her website and finding one post after another that was deeply inspiring.
Amanda has a way of turning things around on their head and she offered a unique perspective that resonated deeply with my INFP self. For example: In this post on her blog, Amanda asked how you would act if you knew you couldn’t succeed.
That’s the opposite of what a lot of self-help gurus advice: What would you do if you thought you knew you couldn’t fail? But especially for creatives, I think Amanda’s approach is wonderfully helpful. What if you are trying to work on a big project, like your first book or a series of paintings? What if you knew you couldn’t succeed straightaway? What if you knew this was just the first of your many attempts, just a first step in a long journey with potentially many books and many exhibitions? That would take the pressure off, wouldn’t it?
This is a great perspective for sensitive creatives, and this is just one example of Amanda’s unique approach. Her website is full of both inspiring writings as well as practical tips and tricks to help INFPs accept their unique, sensitive, creative way of being in the world. Last year, I did an interview with Amanda focusing on her YA novel North. You can check it out here. This time, I want to talk about Amanda’s new novel, Bored to Death – A Vampire Thriller. Just as the title says, the story is about Vampires. The book follows Vic, the main protagonist, as she struggles with her almost-eternal “life” as a Vampire until she comes to a crossroads and finds her world perched precariously. She comes to head to head with an arch nemesis who is trying to rewrite the rules of life and death.
But while this is a Vampire story, which you might or might not be into, it’s also more than that.
Are you struggling with figuring out your gift as an empath?
My heart quickened when I found Amanda talking about things through her characters that are real challenges and problems for sensitives, whether you are an HSP or whether you also think of yourself as an empath. One is the problem we often have as highly sensitive people is identifying our gift. We know that the same sensitivity that often overwhelms us also helps us tune into the nuances of the world. But what do we do with these details we are picking up? What exactly is the gift hidden under all that muck? In Bored to Death, we find this same struggle. Every Vampire in this universe has a unique gift. In the beginning, Vic, the protagonist thinks her gift is being the “seducer.” She is one of those vampires who can easily attract people to her, especially the men she feeds on.
But as she goes along her path, Vic realizes her actual gift if that she is a “knower.” She knows things, without really knowing how and why. But then comes the task of understanding what this gift really is. Vic finds that being a “knower” doesn’t mean she has everything figured out or that she knows each step on the path. What being a “knower” means is that she needs to listen to her feeling of what’s right and wrong, without needing to know how the whole path looks like, without having a guarantee. So, a “knower” has to have faith. They have to listen to their intuition even when they don’t have any logical, rational reasons to support it as yet.
This felt so much like my own experience as an emotional empath. I often have these “knowings” about people and situations even though I don’t have enough objective data as yet. Earlier in my life, I used to discount them. But with time and experience, I have learned to take these knowings seriously. Just as Vic finds out, these intuitive knowings do not mean that I know exactly how things are going to unfold. It’s more like a sense that tells me to turn right or left in this moment. It basically gives me a strong sense of what my next step should be. In spiritual circles, this feeling of clear sensing (clear knowing) in your body is also called clairsentience. I talk about clairsentience and what being an empath means in this piece on Sensitive Evolution.
Do you discount the gifts other people might have?
Reading about Vic discover her gift and then struggle as she puzzles it out reminded me of how a gift might be something you have to practice to get better at. You don’t know its entire shape and form. It’s something that is inside you that you have to first understand and then bring forth. It’s not always an obvious thing.
This book is also a great example of how symbols and layers of meaning are a natural part of the ways INFPs often write. Apart from Vic’s character, who I felt strongly interested in, I also enjoyed the other interesting thoughts in this book. For example: While interacting with another vampire, Vic, who has an internal, psychological gift, thinks about how she often discounts vampires with more “physical” gifts, such as ones with the ability to run fast.
I thought about how this is true in my life too. Because I am not that interested in sports, for example, I discount the gifts people have in this area. It’s not that I discount them per se but in my own head, I don’t consider it such a worthwhile gift. That’s quite biased. If I want people different from me to appreciate what I bring to the table, it’s also up to me to appreciate different kinds of gifts.
Why paying attention to Symbols that come up for you, such as the Raven in this book, matters.
I also quite enjoyed reading about Raven, the magical Vampire who sets Vic off (without Vic being wholly aware of it) on the path to find her destiny. It was interesting that Amanda gave this specific name to her character and described her in the way she did. In mythology, the symbol of the Raven is that of the consummate trickster. It’s an archetype full of deception on purpose, just as Raven in Bored to Death sets off Vic on her path without really giving her enough knowledge or a hint about what might happen.
The Trickster archetype is a mysterious and often misunderstood archetype (I am only just beginning to understand it a little.) Tricksters teach that we reach the truth by unmasking all the lies around it. Loki, Hermes, and Coyote are some well-known Tricksters from different mythologies. They pull the wool over our eyes. They cause disruption. But in the process, they also help us discover the truth.
In my own life as well, I have encountered the image of the Raven. During a group meditation towards the end of last year, the picture of the Raven just popped into my head. In the same meditation, I also had the image of an eye pop up. This week, while researching about the Raven before writing this post, I came upon a reference to the Raven’s “third-eye” in mythology, which is associated with the gift of prophecy.
It turns out that these stories and fables are now being mirrored, in some ways, in science! This piece in Nature in Focus talks about a new study published in Science magazine according to which, ” ravens join the small group of creatures who are able to display foresight, process past events to plan for the future and control impulses. That’s science, not fantasy! Like the human brain does, ravens are also able to create and store memories that can guide their decision-making in the future. They don’t just ‘prospect’, or ascertain the likelihood of future events taking place; they are able to “flexibly apply future planning in behaviours not typically seen in the wild.”
What clues might symbols and images hold for you?
This all feels so fascinating. It feels like, in myths, our imagination often chances upon something essential, something that still hasn’t been verified in objective ways, but that’s true. It’s like we are resonating with something deep inside the image. It’s almost as if the images that feel attractive to us hold clues about us and about our own nature.
Reading Bored to Death also reminded me of how much we, as writers, dip into the archetypal, how it almost comes through our work. It also reminded me of why I find Amanda’s work so interesting. There were several lines about Vic discovering what it meant to be a “knower” that especially jumped out at me. They seemed to awaken me and pull at something inside me.
Like other emotional empaths, sometimes, I can’t quite understand what my “gift” might be. It can feel very challenging, especially when I am buried under too-much-stimulation. But maybe, it’s because I haven’t completely understood the true nature of my purpose as yet or learnt exactly how my gift might works. Amanda’s insights seemed to jolt something inside me and I could, sense that I had understood just a little more. I’ll have to go back, reread and really think about this.
If you are a sensitive creative, INFP or emotional empath, you will find reading Bored to Death interesting in more ways than one. It has layers that take us deeper into our own journeys as HSPs or empaths. It just might provide you with another missing piece for that puzzle that we are all trying to fit together in our own lives.
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