There is a lot of interest and talk online about minimalism. As a philosophy, minimalism feels attractive to me. There is the promise of a simpler life, a life more aligned with what’s essential.
But because I am a creative person, I am also a magpie. I go out into the world and collect shiny things, new and old. I am attracted to them because I love something about them – maybe their artistry, maybe the story behind them. And so, I have become interested in understanding and practicing simplicity in a way that works for me, that helps me in my life but does not curtail my many passions. This week, I would like to first share a story that goes to the heart of why I want a simpler life. Then, I would like to talk about what I am learning about the philosophy of simplicity.
The story is from Cate Montana’s memoir Unearthing Venus, a book about her search for the feminine. In it, she talks about the real-life story of John Perkins, the founder of a non-profit organization called The Dream Change Coalition. This group took Westerners to live with tribes in the Amazon regions of South America in an attempt to expose ordinary people to a different, organic, close-to-nature worldview.
At one point in this cross-cultural journey, John Perkins decided to reverse the intercultural process and bring a shaman – a healer from the tribe – to America. Ipupiara, the healer, had never left Brazil before this. But here he was, at the La Guardia airport in New York, smiling and self-possessed. He soon started learning about Western ways, soaking up knowledge in his effort to be a culural bridge-builder.
He moved into a small apartment in Washington D.C. and started conducting workshops. Six months had passed when John received a phone call from the perplexed Ipupiara. This is how the conversation went:
“John,” said Ipupiara. “Where are your women?”
“What do you mean, “Where are your women?” John replied, puzzled. “They’re right here, working as bankers and teachers and doctors, raising their children and living their lives. Why do you ask?”
Ipupiara sighed. “You know that in our tribe, men and women have different jobs, yes? The men hunt. They fish. They cut wood for fires and cut down trees to build huts and canoes. The women cook, make clothes, gather wild edibles and care for the children. As elders, men and women have equal say and guide the people. But there is one job the women perform that is the most important job in the tribe. In fact, the survival of the tribe depends upon this one task.”
John was intrigued. What was this most important task?
“My friend, you must know that, left to their own devices, men will hunt until there are no more animals in the forest. They will fish until there are no more fish in the rivers, and cut down trees until there are no more trees. It is their nature. It is the job of the women of the tribe to tell the men when to STOP. John, where are your women? Why are they not telling the men to stop?”
This story hit Cate Montana “like a boat anchor.” She knew both in her own life as well as in the larger society, the word “Stop” had almost disappeared. There was a race for More, More, More without considering the cost of what that activity meant, what it’s consequences were. Where was the feminine principle that could say “STOP” when the dynamic, masculine principle overrun its boundaries?
Where was that feminine principle hiding, in both women and men? Why is it that there is never enough, that we can never do enough, be enough, that we are always striving for more, more and more. When do we stop?
Like with Montana, this story resonated deeply with me. What it seemed to speak of was the reason behind things. What it seemed to say was that we need to question activity. Is it always as good as it seems? Is it missing something essential? Is it harming some other part of us or of the world around us?
Of course, as both men and women, we need both principles in our lives – the masculine and the feminine. But it seems like the masculine is having a field day, and the feminine, the counter-balancing force has lost its power. I think, as HSPs, men and women, we have a huge affinity to the feminine and yet we have also been raised and conditioned by a society that seems to worship at the altar of Doing and More and More – values of the Masculine run amok.
So, for me, as I go deeper in my own journey, deconstructing these put-upon, finding my own right balance of the masculine and feminine has become important. What is the point of soulless activity or doing more without understanding the reason for doing more?
When is it enough? When do we need to simply STOP?
It is something I am thinking about as I write more, create more. On a very practical level, some things seem like burdens that don’t add a whole lot to my life, but that I spend a lot of time taking care of and maintaining. Their cost is the cost of my own true life.
That’s why I have become more interested in simplifying, in paring down. I am not cutting down things that I genuinely love. I am letting go of things that I seem to be hanging on to with fear or a feeling of not enough or what feels like negative attachment.
If you are looking for ways to simplify your life to increase your pleasure (not to decrease it), you might enjoy Be More with Less website. Courtney is a popular name in the Minimalism space, and I would encourage you to check out her practical, accessible writing. I love this post on taking a victory lap with sentimental items before you let them go, this post on the value of personal experiments and challenges, and this post on what minimalism really is. I think these posts will encourage you to think you of your own brand of minimalism and simplicity, instead of getting turned off by photos of impossibly pristine spaces.
You might also like to check out the Little Free Library project. It is very active here in the United States, but is also present around the world.
What is your Enough? Where is that space where you need to stop, where stopping will help you and the world around you? I think more is great sometimes, but sometimes STOP is the word that we need to say to stop endlessly spinning around, weaving in and out of meaninglessness.
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