As writers, we all struggle with different parts of the writing process. As we continue with our artistic journey, different tendencies within us stop us in our tracks. Sometimes, it feels like we are trying to move a mountain outside, when the real problem is the way we are relating to our work.
We have to deepen our understanding of the different needs that live inside us. And we need to approach these needs holistically, instead of trying to ram through a perceived block.
I have written about clarifying my writing process before. One more aspect of my struggle became clear to me as I read this article by Dr. A.J.Drenth that talks about INFPs’ (and INTPs’) quest for convergence and certainty. For those of you who are not familiar with personality types and MBTI, check out this link.
In short though, INFPs are introverted, intuitive, perceiving types.
Essentially, what this article says is that there is an innate drive in all of us to reconcile our natural way of being in the world with the most undeveloped aspects of our personality.
For an INFP like me, this means trying to reconcile my natural preference for engaging with the world, which is through the lens of my feelings, with a more objective world-view.
I can see this happening inside of me, this struggle to arrive at a concrete conclusion. But what this article says, and what can be so helpful for INFP writers, is that trying too hard to arrive at a final conclusion or identity may be premature for us.
One of our natural preferences as INFPs is looking at the outside world and noticing infinite possibilities and patterns.
This means that if we try to force a final conclusion, that conclusion is often brittle and changeable.
We are too aware of the infinite possibilities to arrive at the kind of surety that we sometimes see and envy in the people around us. By trying to force a conclusion, we are trying to act like these other people, people who are nothing like us.
One reason why we do this, of course, is because of the deep need inside us to integrate different aspects of our personality. But we stumble when we bypass the process required, and also bypass our natural openness in order to quickly resolve this tension that we feel inside.
Another reason could be that we have faced uncertainties in our live that have left us scared and wanting to cling to some permanent answer. Our minds are trying to fast-track to an illusive place of certainty and stability.
It could just also be that we discount our natural preferences because they have some downsides.
We envy people who have firm opinions about the nature of the world because our own nature sees too many possibilities that can leave us feeling paralyzed. We could be going from one option to the other without really following through.
So, we start feeling that the answer is to act like people who have strong judgments.
But trying to do this too soon, too fast means that we fail to use our own strengths. We can only arrive at a stable opinion once we have experimented, asked questions, and meandered this way and that.
This process asks us to take our time.
How does this understanding – that our natural strength lies in possibility, in asking questions – help us as INFP writers?
One way it can benefit us is that it makes us realize that we may have wrongly assumed that the world needs us to provide conclusions in our writing. Because we believed this, we may have been trying to force answers.
But what the world really needs from our writing is the willingness to go down the rabbit-hole, to be the explorer of nooks and crannies. We can provide the vision that expands and fortifies conclusions.
This is what Dr A.J. Drenth has to says about INFPs struggling with their own natures:
“But these assumptions are merely projections of their own subjectivity. The truth is that the world needs them to ask probing questions, to poke holes in existing theories, and to provide creative or explorative “food for thought.””
This is a common human problem. We all discount what comes to us most naturally, and try to move to the opposite extreme.
INFPs who are spontaneously creative and bursting with ideas wish they could focus on only one idea like INJ personality types and build it into something towering over the course of a lifetime. On the other hand, INTJs and INFJs face their own struggle when they think that the world needs them to make art or combust into spontaneous self-expression, instead of providing the deep analysis that is their strength.
As an INFP who absolutely loves INFJ writers and philosophers, it’s hard for me to understand how they could be blind to their own strengths. And yet, I discount the strengths of my own style — the pictures tumbling out of my head, the endless ideas I want to engage with.
But just the awareness that our drive to integrate different parts of ourselves comes from somewhere deep inside can help us be more compassionate with our struggles. We start understanding what this tension is all about.
We start channeling our strengths, instead of getting our foot caught up in the knots in our psyche. We can acknowledge that there is a push and a pull inside us, and that it can only really be resolved when we act authentically and struggle with the challenges that our gifts bring us.
If you are an INFP writer, honor your creativity and value your style. Be who you are, and stay with the questions instead of forcing the answers.
The world needs your unique expression, it needs you to keep asking so that the answers can crystallize in their own time.
Kelly says
Written so well. You’ve probably helped hundreds of people.
ritu.pisces@gmail.com says
Thank you Kelly. I am happy to hear that!
Jayne Anne says
I really love this article. As a fellow INFP starting to write again after a long absence, I recognize truth in what you have said about not recognizing and accepting our greatest strengths.
ritu.pisces@gmail.com says
Thank you Jayne! I am glad it connected. And it’s great that you are returning back to writing. A lot of writers are INFPs and I think, with good reason. It’s hard sometimes to focus on our strengths, so I am glad this helped some. Happy Writing!
Jessica says
One of the most useful and encouraging articles on writing that it has ever been my privilege to read.
Ritu Kaushal says
You’re welcome Jessica. I am glad you found it helpful!
Ivory says
Your article is truly well written, and reassuring. As a fellow INFP, going down rabbit holes when writing is my niche. I often do not know how to conclude my work without feeling like I’m forcing an abstract idea on the reader which is something I NEVER want to do as I respect and value everyone’s views.
Thank you for reminding me that it is okay to not have all the answers!
Ritu Kaushal says
You are welcome! I am glad you found the piece a helpful reminder. I completely relate to not wanting to force an abstract idea or reaching a conclusion prematurely.
Page Olson says
I just found this article and wish to say thank you. As a strong INF with a P/J that veries just to one side or the other of mid depending on how I feel when I take the test (I have taken 4 times over the last few years at the request of different coaches and trainers) I have had many people who think they are helping me with my “writers block” say things like, “just write something”, “stop procrastinating”, and my favorites “what is wrong with you” and “you obviously don’t want this badly enough.” After spending tons of money on a variety of writing programs, none of which I could get through as they all began with requiring an outline, I turned to speaking which I am told I excel at ( no one told me how to organize a speech so I was free to just do what came naturally) but my intuition keeps telling me not to give up on writing. Your well-written article acknowledges people come at tasks from different angles. By encouraging people to be themselves from starting in the “middle” to not having to provide conclusions you have provided an understanding and guiding light I needed to hear. Again thank you.
Ritu Kaushal says
You’re welcome! And thank you for your comment. It’s good to hear that these ideas connected with you. You are right. One-size-fits-all doesn’t work, especially if you are an INFP or INFJ. We make such a small percentage of the population, and I think we are taught in ways that suit other personality types better. Your interest and persistence gives me a sense that writing is for you and I think your intuition is telling you something important. When you mentioned your speaking abilities, it brought to my mind something I read about Brene Brown writing one of her books by talking (with her friends, if I remember correctly) and recording that. As I write more, I am finding more and more that I have to unlearn what I have been taught is the right way, and instead learn to follow my natural inclinations. Yes, I think of this not having to provide conclusions more and more. As a reader, I am often communing with the mind of a writer and it’s their unique way of looking at things that attracts me.